The Myth of the Perfect Vagina and Vulva

It’s time to unmask the vagina and vulva taboos. We are in 2020 and women are still ashamed of their own body. We are not born ashamed, it is society that compares, shames and sexualises our bodies to fit those impossible beauty standards. You would think we have evolved sufficiently as a society for women to not feel ashamed of their Vagina. Unfortunately we haven’t, and the shame is just increasing. The prejudices that exist around the appearance of the vulva, which is the one that contains the vaginal lips, the clitoris, the vaginal opening and the urethral orifice, are common among women. Some call this “vagina shaming”: the unnecessary comments that trigger bodily insecurities and even mental health problems to women around the world.

Your own shaming and what you receive from others come from many misconceptions society has built around vaginas. Many believe that the labia is supposed to be of a certain length. In reality, the labia can be thin or thick, darker, lighter, or even longer on one side. Vulvas come in the most amazing shapes, sizes and colours. None of them are pretty or ugly, they are all normal. Oval shape, unbroken skin and a hairless feel are the standards of a prototypical vulva. However, the reality is different, each female genital is unique and does not have to be compared to that stereotype. The attempt to standardize beauty is a contrast with the diversity found in it.

Many misconceptions are a result of what men and women see in the porn industry. Shouldn’t we find it funny? That we are comparing the vulvas we see in porn to how they look like in REAL LIFE. What ‘s next? Comparing the crystal clear stars in the movies to the less obvious stars in real life? The majority of female porn stars have no pubic hair, a small labia minora (operated), and the only visible thing is the vaginal entrance, as if the vagina only consisted of a hole. Then we see ours and we are completely frustrated for not being able to fit the standard. When in reality it isn’t the standard.

We lack knowledge regarding our vulva. We mostly learn everything about the anatomy of women from books that are used to teach human reproduction in primary and secondary school. These do not include images of the vulva from the front. They simply include images of the internal reproductive organs such as the uterus and ovaries. The external anatomy of the genitals is ignored and many girls have no idea what it should look like. At home, their family doesn’t teach this topic because they do not know how to approach the subject. Where are we supposed to learn about our genitals and understand its normality?

The constant shaming, censorship and ignorance of the topic has led to an unhealthy and toxic quest for the perfect vagina. “44% of women are embarrassed by their vulvas and 57% feel pressure for it to look a certain way.” This has resulted in labiaplasty, the procedure that alters the labia, to become the fastest-growing cosmetic surgery in the world. In 2018, the Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne conducted a study about the main concerns that lead the patients to want the procedure. The results showed that the main motivation for doing the procedure came from the desire to have a vagina like those shown in pornography. The participants also claimed to suffer anxiety because their vulva looked different among the rest. Even a nine year old girl has asked for a labiaplasty even though she had no medical need for it. Doctors have also reported that in recent years there has been an increase in the quantity of girls being depressed by the appearance of their vagina and vulva. Girls are having to reach impossible “vagina standards” that should not exist.

We need to understand that vulvas can come in all sizes and colors and we shouldn’t be ashamed of our own. If you want to change your vulva because you feel it will make you more confident, great, do it. But do it because you personally want not because you feel pressured or not good enough. We have to remember that every vulva is completely different such as our nose or face. We should fight against those ideals of beauty and stereotypes that only generate insecurities, because we will never be able to achieve those standards. We have to highlight diversity and always remember the words of Gloria Gaynor “I AM WHAT I AM.”